Perspective

I found out recently that the 16 yr old son of a former teaching colleague has disappeared in the small town where I used to teach. I found this out through Facebook, which seems to be the hub for a lot of the news I get. I dutifully re-posted the photo, and the hope that the boy would find his way back to his family, and then another Facebook friend posted and made the connection to the mother with whom I used to teach. And that's when my heart started breaking.

You hear about teenagers running away from home. You hear about kids who go missing. You hear about these things - and they always happen to someone else. You fear them, and then chastise yourself for buying into the media hype about every parent's nightmare. Yet this time, I can't get it out of my head - that this happened - is happening- to someone that I know, in a town where I lived.

The obligatory Facebook page has been set up, and over 1000 people "liked" it within 24 hours. Students skipped school to help in the search effort (as they should) and teenaged friends of the disappeared boy are writing poems and scribbling "hope" on their arms and posters, in the hopes that this boy will come home.

One person recently posted a poem indicating that this boy has written farewell notes to his friends before leaving (he apparently left home Sunday evening, and wasn't back by the time Monday morning came around - I can only imagine his parents' concern as they looked in on an empty bed...). It disturbs me greatly that his disappearance might have been planned, that he may have thought no one loved him or cared. His friends seem to be writing about how  much he is loved, which makes me wonder if he'd been depressed and felt isolated and lonely.

It makes me want to hug my own kids - which I have done. Perspective is a wonderful thing - I just wish I could get it more often without someone else's tragedy behind it.

http://www.680news.com/news/local/article/304999--ground-search-continues-for-missing-uxbridge-teen

ACK!

Yesterday I signed away our line of credit on a basement reno project. Hubby knows about it, and agreed, so we're at least on the up and up about it. Not like the shopping I did the other day, but I digress.

The impetus is environmental - we strongly suspect that various individuals in the house are suffering breathing problems, allergies, runny noses, etc, due to mould in the basement. There are elevated counts and the carpet is ancient. So the entire basement should be stripped back, cleaned, and rebuilt.

But hey - if we're going to strip it all back and clean and rebuild, why not remake it as well? So a wall is moving, a couple of other walls are going to be built, a shower will be installed - and all of this adds up to chaos and debt.

I'm very nervous... I think the 3 months of chaos is more nerve-wracking than the debt, to be honest. I can barely stand it when the dining room table doesn't get wiped down after dinner.

I'm doomed, aren't I?

Another day...

Another fight about stuff. Me. Hubby. The boys. We sure know how to ruin a nice sunny November Sunday. Of course the fact that we spent 2 hours in the car doesn't help - and that I feel like I haven't had a break in several months. And that my basement is still mostly in boxes. And... and ... and...

Well let's just say, for the record, that I was right on all accounts and people in my family should just learn that sooner rather than later and we'd all get along just fine.

Hallowe'en

Kid#1 went as a lawyer - telling people that he'd sue them if they didn't fork over the candy. Wisely, everyone did. People generally agreed that he had the scariest costume.

Kid#2 resurrected a costume from 2 yrs ago, when he went as a snail. The costume is quite ingenious (and I say that even though I had nothing to do with it). It is decorated foam that covers a backpack, and the candy goes into the backpack through a flap in the top of the shell. It was Kid#2's idea, but Kid#1 and hubby built it.

Kid#2 got a lot of "wow" and "that's so cool" and other positive attention. Kid#1 did not.

Kid#1 sulked and said he hated Hallowe'en.

Sigh.

Hallowe'en is not my favourite occasion either. I remember as a kid having a perfectionistic bent around costumes - wanting the best one, wanting to be clever and original, wanting a great creative amazing something that everyone would adore and I'd shine. I never got it. One year, I went as a robot that I made out of cardboard boxes. Problem - we lived in the country and had to drive to each house. I had forgotten to engineer getting in and out of cars in my costume design. Another year, I went as a crash test dummy - it was clever except that I looked nothing like a crash test dummy. I worked from memory instead of research and no one got it.

So I completely empathize with Kid#1's bummed-outedness.

However, I reminded him of two things:

1. he had actually created the snail costume - so every time someone said that it was a great costume, he should take pride in that because even though Kid#2 was wearing it, Kid#1 was the actual creator.

2. going out for candy was totally optional and he could walk home by himself at any time.

We ended up staying out for an hour and a half and the lawyer's satchel was full to bursting when we got home. Kid#1 has plans for next year's costume already.

Clearly, you can't keep a good lawyer down.