My cynical post - because it's been like that

What I have learned lately - because the universe keeps hitting me over the head with the same lessons that clearly I need to learn and start living by.....

• No one likes a loser. And no one like to be the loser - so they will make someone else the loser. Or the scapegoat. 
• If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
• Contributing to the greater good of society and living out your purpose doesn't mean squat if your family needs you.
• Your family always needs you.
• Betrayal hurts. A lot.
• Other people don't play fair. And that hurts too. A lot. 
• Most people don't take accountability or responsibility. 
• Never, ever, ever let down your guard. Something always creeps up. Always.
• Everything is hard work. 

And I'm also learning that when other people offer help, they often don't mean it. And there is usually nothing that anyone can really do to help anyhow. 

I just had to get all that off my chest. You can go back to your normal lives now. Thanks.

How to play "cow-cow" - summer 2013 version

How to play cow-cow

Driving around the country is a great time to play the time-honoured car game of "cow-cow".

Rule #1. If you pass a field that has a cow in it, you say "cow-cow". This gives you one point if you are the first person to say "cow-cow".

Rule #2. Only one cow per enclosed field counts. You don't get to say "cow-cow" for every cow in the field. And once a cow-cow has been claimed, no one else can use a different cow in the same enclosed field to claim a "cow-cow".

Rule #3. If you pass a cemetery, you can say "dead buried cow". If you are the first person to say "dead buried cow", then everyone else goes down to zero points. You get to maintain all of your points. Only one "dead buried cow" per cemetery. You can't claim a "dead buried cow" on another tombstone in the same cemetery.

After that... well...

Paintings of cows apparently count.

Large plastic cows on top of buildings apparently count (we assume they were plastic...)

Bulls count.

Mailboxes painted like a cow count. Even if it's just the splotches.

Horses count, except you have to say "horse-horse".

Llamas don't count.

Other farm animals count, except they have to be near a barn and you have to say "barn-barn" first and then the doubled name of the animal, like "sheep-sheep".

Saying "barn-barn" doesn't get you any points.

Saying "sheep-sheep" without saying "barn-barn" first doesn't get you any points.

If you say "barn-barn" and there are no barn animals near it, then you get first dibs on the next barn animal that is seen - you don't have to say "barn-barn" again.

When you pass a McDonald's, saying "fast-food-cow" counts. Burger King is "flame-broiled cow". There is nothing special for Wendy's.

Saying things like "house-house" or "tree-tree" or "fence-fence" are clearly just silly.

If the younger brother makes up a new rule, it doesn't count. Apparently.

The older brother apparently gets to make up the rules as the game goes on, which are typically in his favour. Unless the younger brother screams so loud that we have to pull over the car.

All points go down to zero when the car is pulled over, except in the very egregious case of outraged and overly-frustrated parents who may, at their discretion, claim all of the points that the children had earned to that point in time. Perhaps even double.

Mom only says "dead buried cow" because she seems to have a spooky sixth sense about these things.

Dad is banned from playing on the road to the cottage that he has been going to for over 40 years, because he knows where all the cemeteries are.

The game stops with the first person to get to 10 points, or the adults' ears are ringing and heads are spinning from all of the fighting - whichever comes first.