Bad, bad, bad mother blogger

Oh geez - was the last post really in mid-February? And I think I was already complaining about how I wasn't staying on top of our family plan to do new activities together every week. Well full confessions time: it's only gotten worse.

Here's the run down of how things have gone so far.

As you may recall, we were going to pick an activity from a box every week and do something positive together as a family. My husband has been saying for a long time that we need to create more positive memories (I have the most appalling memory!) and so this was my attempt to do that.

We did ok for the first little while and I got some great closet doors out of it (see this post: http://lisaandtheboys.blogspot.ca/2016/01/closet-doors.html), but then things gradually fell off the rails after only a few weeks.

On Feb 7, we didn't pick an activity (according to my fancy-dancy activity tracker, by which I mean the paper calendar that hangs in our kitchen...) and on Feb 14 we didn't pick an activity. Sigh.

On Feb 21, we picked the following: Do something touristy as a family outing in or near our city.

The kids, as I recall, weren't thrilled with this, because they couldn't think of anything we wanted to do. I don't even remember what we did, if anything (remember what I said about having an appalling memory??) and I don't think we did anything really as a family. So - you know - whatever.

We didn't pick anything on Feb 28, Mar 6 or Mar 13...

Now, in my sort-of defense, that was also birthday season for us (Kid#1 had his bday on Feb 1 and Hubby's is Mar 12) and we were having house renovations done so with moving all the furniture around and losing our back room and dining room for a while, we... um... sort of misplaced the box with the activities. Oops.

I know I should have kept better track of it, but the contractor emailed me on Saturday to say "you are cleaning everything out of the dining room so I can start there on Monday, right?" and we were already busy that weekend so everything got moved really quickly late Sunday night.... #firstworldproblems.

So we sort of lost the box. Found it again in the basement playroom, along with some china dishes. Clearly this wasn't at all thought-out. I would never do that in my more rational moments.

When we finally found the box again, we picked to do 30 min of exercise each day (the week of Mar 20) which was after the March Break. That was pretty easy for the kids - they walk home from school and do physical activities three or four nights of the week. As for me, #fail.

On Mar 27, we picked to say "please" and "thank you" more often and that one sort of worked - at least at dinner time when we were thinking of it. Did it have any long-term benefits? I doubt it. And it became more of a family joke rather than any sort of politeness habit formation.

Missed April 3. The week of April 10 was supposed to be about taking pictures of things that made us happy or that were fun. I recall taking one or two photos. I think Hubby remembers to take one. Otherwise, #fail.

April 17 week was supposed to be volunteering for a worthy cause. I collected batteries for my son's school fund-raiser. Hubby already volunteers for the local speedskating club. I don't recall if the boys did anything. We certainly didn't volunteer all together as a family.

We haven't picked anything since then. Kid#2 had his birthday April 23, so that was another thing happening that was great, but got in the way of the weekly activities. Throw in Easter, March Break, moving furniture back into the newly-renovated back room and dining room, science fair (both kids got medals - YAY!)... well, lots of weeks went by with no intentional positive and fun family activities.

So I think I've been too over-ambitious and too serious about the whole thing. We're one-third of the way done 2016 and I'm thinking that we don't have the time and we don't have the priority to make the time for these activities. Thoughts? Where would you go from here?

Oh - and here's one of the pictures of things that were fun (week of April 10). At least I have that! And it sort of describes my family too.... ;-)

Family weekly activities - where are we at?

I have to admit, we're not doing a great job on our weekly activities that are supposed to enrich our familial life. Part of the problem, I'm finding, is that we're really never all together long enough to actually talk about the activities or do them!

Here's an example - last weekend (we're pulling the activities on Sundays, for the most part...) we pulled the activity to discuss and list family values that we all agree to. At the time we pulled the activity, Kid#2 said "Well we all enjoy seeing each other having fun!" We talked about it and agreed to that, so it went on the list. Saturday, 6 days later, that is the only item on the list. Our mornings are rushed (Kid#1, being 14 now, barely moves to get out of bed until 5 minutes before we leave - and that's only because if he doesn't get a ride with us, he's walking...). Our evenings are packed - I single-parent Mondays and take Kid#2 to gymnastics which is 2 hours. Hubby often doesn't get home until midnight or later. Tuesdays and Thursdays are a mad dash to speedskating. Wednesdays we're all home, but there's always other things to do. Fridays are piano lessons for Kid#2 and leadership training at the Y for Kid#1. It's crazy.

And this weekend, like many others, we have separate activities. This weekend, Hubby and Kid#1 are at a speedskating meet an hour away. Maybe in the car tomorrow, as we travel to visit family for Family Day weekend, we'll have time to talk? I know it won't happen tonight because Hubby and Kid#1 will be exhausted...

When we do have spare time, Hubby and I need to deal with things like what colour we're getting the back room (currently under major renovations) painted because our contractor is seriously getting annoyed with us not being on time with these decisions. It's mostly ok though - we're paying him on time, which is the really critical part.

So all that to say, I have to wonder if we're doing it "right". All this busy parenting and stuff. The kids enjoy the activities and we do enjoy watching each other having fun - that's why they do piano, speedskating and gymnastics and all the other activities that they've done over the years. But it does get in the way of other collective activities sometimes.

In the meantime, my closet doors did get put up!

Now I should be clear that the closet has three panels and only two were done by the boys. There is a blank panel so far and maybe we'll get around to decorating that in the spring, but that's TBD. I think I'd like the same style but that means convincing a) Hubby and b) the Kids that this is a good idea. LOL. Wish me luck!

Happy Valentine's Day to all and Happy Family Day long weekend to those in Ontario (and elsewhere if you get it).

So about that family fun activity...

My last post was quite a success about the closet doors, and thanks to those who commented on how great they look! We still don't have them back up - maybe this weekend - but yea, they did work out well.

The next week, we picked a piece of paper that said to "support a community event". That wasn't as easy as we thought. Last week was also the birthday of Kid#1 so we were in party planning mode, and he wanted to go downhill skiing which, while fun, isn't really a community event. So then we thought we would attend a local theatrical production, but couldn't find something we wanted that worked with our busy schedule. I suggested Macbeth, which Kid#1 is studying in school, but he didn't want to see another production of it until his production was over. Fair enough.

I also tried giving away a couch and chair to a refugee family but that's proving to be much harder than expected. The group that was going to come and pick it up did arrive, but they turned it down due to the softness of the springs (but the material and frame are in great condition!) so then I thought I would just post it for free on Kijiji and Freecycle and you know, people say they're going to come and then they don't. We're still working on it. And besides, that wasn't really what I had in mind by supporting a community event.

For the Kid's birthday, we also went to the Harlem Globetrotters (we do birthday weeks around here, in case you were wondering...) so I guess that was sort of like supporting a local community event? Though I really was thinking we'd do something a little more grass roots...

So that family challenge is still sitting "out there".

This week we're all supposed to be flossing our teeth. Hubby talks about how his family (5 kids!) used to have flossing parties every evening - his parents really believed in good dental hygiene!

The flossing is really hit and miss, and I promise I won't post any pictures of that one.

But here's the Globetrotters!!

Closet doors

Following up on last week, hubby did get down the closet doors and I gave the kids free reign. I have to admit, I had faith but was curious. Hubby was not sure at all that this would work. So here's the "before" picture of the plain closet doors hanging on my closet:



The doors were primed, but not painted, and they were installed anyhow. That was a couple of years ago...

So here's what the boys did - first of all, they hid downstairs with the closet doors and told me not to come downstairs. Then, when they were ready, they turned off all the lights and covered my eyes and led me downstairs (I was very careful and did not fall) - when they turned on the lights and I was allowed to open my eyes, I saw this:

The kids had taken electrical tape and done cityscape outlines. If you look carefully, you can see a leaning CN tower and the Empire State Building. 

I would have been quite happy with that, but the tape wasn't very sticky and it was starting to come off. Little did I know that was part of the plan. This was only the first stage - there was a second stage to the artistry...

Our back room is being renovated, so it was the perfect place to spray paint the doors! I would have liked a snazzy colour, but they don't make spray paint in a wide custom variety, so we went with matte black. The boys got goggles and masks (safety first!) and sprayed the doors, covering up all the tape. Guess what happened when the doors dried?

The tape comes off, leaving the negative image behind! I have to say, it looks very cool and even Hubby was visibly impressed, saying that this worked out better than he ever thought it would!

Here's the finished doors, though we haven't reinstalled them yet:

What do you think?

Here's a close-up of my favourite detail - this is going to make me laugh every time I see it;

The new topics that we picked on the weekend is to support a local community event. Stay tuned - we're not sure what this will be yet...

Well the best laid plans...

Last week, I mentioned that as a family, we were doing one family activity per week - we had brainstormed a bunch of them and then were pulling ideas from the box. Last week, we pulled the activity to decorate my closet doors.

Well when Hubby got up on the ladder to try and take down the sliding doors, it proved to be more difficult than originally anticipated, so we delayed that one for another week. The good news is the doors are now down and awaiting decoration. More on that next week I hope!

Ali Al-Nimr

The other good news is that we pulled another activity! And you know, the ways that things sometimes work out, it was a pretty good one for the limited time that we had. The family task was to write a letter for Amnesty International.

The project that Hubby chose is to ask Saudi Arabia to stop the execution of Ali Al-Nimr. This is especially timely since Ali Al-Nimr is the nephew of prominent Shi’a cleric Sheikh Nimr Baqir al-Nimr who was also sentenced to death by the Specialized Criminal Court on October 15, 2014, and recently executed. Ali Al-Nimr was only 17 at the time of his alleged crimes, and being the nephew of a recently-executed Shi'a cleric likely puts him at higher risk. Ali Al-Nimr allegedly confessed, but it was under torture and the claims against him are highly dubious.

For our family, writing this letter made links to recent world events, and a discussion of what life is like in other parts of the world - what different forms of government are about, as well as different religions and beliefs. I have to admit, there were a lot of questions that I wasn't too sure how to answer either. The Middle East is a part of the world that I find very confusing and complex, though now I'll try to pay more attention.

If you would like to sign an online petition or otherwise appeal for the pardon of Ali Al-Nimr, you can learn more on the Amnesty International Canada website with further details here.

Next week - closet doors I hope. The contrast between our weeks is probably going to make my head spin, but I'm sure I'll appreciate my new closet doors even more knowing that no one is going to die over them.

Happy 2016!

Yes, it has been a VERY long time since my last blog. A few updates - we are still living in the same house with the same people: myself, Hubby, Kid#1 and Kid#2. Kid#1 is 13, nearly 14, and Kid#2 is 11. Over the holidays, we managed to squeeze in some downhill skiing despite the greenest Christmas around. It's now pouring rain, kids are on the computer playing some game I've never heard of and Hubby is on the treadmill (which I bought second hand from a friend - insert typical story about how I intended to use it and never did...).

Life has been ticking along as usual, so we decided to do something different this year. Ok - I decided to do something different and the family actually went for it.

Over the holidays, we (mostly me) wrote up several different activities that we can do as a family. We put them all on slips of paper and they are in a box and we pick one activity every week that is our theme for that week. Some are silly, some are meaningful, some are hard, some are easy - but they are all geared towards improving our collective family quality of life through activities that we can do together.

Our box of ideas

 

All of our ideas - so far - we might add more as time goes on!

So last week was the first time we drew an idea and it was "play outside". Good thing the kids like the winter! We bundled up a couple of times and went outside for  hikes at the conservation area, or even for just a  half-hour around our property. Hubby got a light-up frisbee-style disc for Christmas, so we tossed that around. Kid#2 built a toboggan run in the backyard - and we don't have a big backyard! He launches himself on his sled from the patio, travels about 10 ft to a steep banked curve, and then goes another 15 ft or so to the edge of the backyard - or else he might end up in the bushes, who knows!

This weekend, however, it's raining so we chose not to "play outside" and we picked our next item for the week. The activity? Decorate mom's closet doors. There's a long story there which I'll get to next time.

Until then, be kind and good to each other!